it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
