her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
