You made me cry and you don't even care
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
