I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
