She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
