Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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