my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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