it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
