His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Porn is love you can see.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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