she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
