Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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