when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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