i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
