It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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