I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
