Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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