she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
