i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
