At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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