i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So squirting runs in the family.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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