dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
