He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
