I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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