pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
