hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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