just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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