you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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