The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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