A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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