Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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