How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
