so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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