Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
not ubering you a puppy
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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