So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
