I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Randomize
