She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
