If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
