I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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