did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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