whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
