I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
