Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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