I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My life is pants optional.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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