Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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