please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize