how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
