There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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