So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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