i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize