she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
