Don't you send me to vm
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
