Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
