Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I CAN MOONWALK!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
