we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
