Will you blow on my dice?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
