Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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