Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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