are you so shy because you have an std?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize