No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
