marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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