woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
