Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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