would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize