Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
