Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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