haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
